Ιησους
Χριστóς
In past centuries, the fathers were supposed to train and
mentor
their children especially boys. Today fathers have taken
that role very
FIRST - Listen to what your child has to tell you!
These ten points are from Mrs. Wander Paul, a teacher with
over
1. Don’t be frightened of being firm with me. I feel safer
when you
2. Don’t spoil me. I know as well as you do that I shouldn’t
have everything
3. Don’t let me get into bad habits. I rely on you to help
me stop
4. Don’t make me feel even smaller than I am already. It
makes me
5. When I make a mistake, don’t correct me in front of
others, and
6. Don’t over react when I say ‘I hate you’. I love you.
It’s your Power
7. Don’t promise something you won’t be able to do. I feel
awful
8. Don’t say one thing; and do another. This confuses me and
makes
9. Don’t say I’m silly when I tell you when I’m worried
about something.
10. Don’t fob me off, when I ask questions. When you don’t
answer
What Parents need to know is that children want to be
guided,
Also today many educated parents of teens even in good
schools
One reason for this is that the guidance for parents is
mostly from
These permissive parents expect teachers to guide the teens.
The
The wisest thing parents can do is to motivate their teenagers. Motivation is having the desire and willingness to do something. A motivated teenager can be reaching for a long-term goal such as becoming a professional writer or a more short-term goal like learning how to fix a bike. Parents need to motivate teens in their own area of interest.
The three main aspects of motivation parents need to perform with their teens are:
- Inspire HOPE
- Instigate CREATIVITY
Do things that your teens want to do whenever possible and keep focusing on the fun element. You can have great conversations in your car, going for a walk etc. ie, doing things together that motivate them into a deeper level of relationship with you.
Constructive criticism (often shortened to ‘CC’ or ‘concrit’) is the process of offering valid and well-reasoned opinions about your teen. This usually involves both positive and negative comments, in a friendly manner rather than an oppositional one. In handling your teens, this kind of criticism is often a valuable tool in raising and maintaining respect and discipline and most of all championing your teen to do better.
Because of the overuse of negative, nagging criticism, some teens become defensive even when receiving constructive criticism given in a spirit of good will. Constructive criticism is more likely to be accepted if the criticism is focused on the teens work or behaviour. That is, personality issues must be avoided as much as possible. Critical thinking can help identify relevant issues to focus on.
The three main aspects of constructive criticism parents need to perform with their teens are:
- Inspire TRUST
- Stimulate GODLINESS
- Instigate IMAGINATION
Have fun with your teen as you learn together – construction should not be all work and no play.
Role Models live a healthy, balanced lifestyle. Positive role model parenting carries out a role demonstrating values, ways of thinking and acting, which are considered good in that role. Teens hopefully will follow the example. A mother who is a professor can be seen as a role model for the teen daughter, or the strength of her furthering of the profile of women in academia. Alternatively, she could be seen as a role model for aspiring academics, regardless of their gender, on the strength of her academic achievements and/or dedication to her chosen discipline.
Parents can be positive role models helping their children learn adult ways or they can be negative role models. In dysfunctional families parents tend to be primarily negative role models.
The three main aspects of role modelling parents need to perform with their teens are:
- Inspire BELIEF
- Stimulate RIGHTEOUSNESS
- Instigate DISCERNMENT
Demonstrate to your teens that you are consistent, dependable, and trustworthy. Consistently act in ways that are ethical to earn the trust of your teenagers. Be a positive role model in both word and deed.
ENCOURAGE, empathise, affirm and love your teenager
Keep the focus on your teen. Encourage teenagers to talk about their lives, their interests, their things. Share your personal experience with them and follow an approach which allows for your own SELF DISCLOSURE where you open up yourself to them so they can open up to you.
Sympathy exists when your emotions give rise to similar feelings of your teen, creating a state of shared feeling. In common usage, sympathy is usually the sharing of unhappiness or suffering, but it can also refer to sharing other (positive) emotions as well.
The three main aspects of encouragement parents need to perform with their teens are:
- Inspire CONVICTION
- Stimulate VIRTUE
- Instigate RIGHT JUDGEMENT
LOVE is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is a basic dimension of teenage experience that is variously conveyed as a sense of tender affection and intense care. It is the foundation of intimacy and good interpersonal relationship with your teen with the willing self-sacrifice on behalf of your teen. Love manifests itself in feelings, emotion, behaviour, thoughts, perception and attitude. It influences, underlies and defines major patterns in interpersonal relationships and self-identification of your teenager.
The three main aspects of love, parents need to do with their teens are:
- Inspire PASSION
- Stimulate FERVOUR
- Instigate COMMITMENT
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